


Saturn

by CrepefilledBungolos



Series: {Song Inspired} [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I liget sobbed while writing this, Made in the depths of the night, Mileven, i love this song tho, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 21:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13960170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrepefilledBungolos/pseuds/CrepefilledBungolos
Summary: “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful tonight”_____Written with the song "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last, may make you cry may not, but I sure as hell did





	Saturn

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry

You taught me the courage of stars before you left.

“El!” I raced down Mirk-wood towards the lab the rest of the party a few strides behind me, looking for her, I needed to find her, nobody had in a few days, it seemed to me that whenever El went MIA she always did it with the best intentions always looking to help someone, to aid the broken, that’s the kind of person she was,Sometimes her being so selfless made me mad, how can she just care so much and give so much when she never got the same amount in return. Hopper was a mess when he found the note she left, just a sentence written delicately on a piece of coffee stained paper.

“It’s Not Safe Here, Don’t Look For me. I’ll be back when it is - El”

Some how with that bit of contexts and a few emergency meetings with Doc Owens, we found out that son of a bitch Dr. Brenner was out there in the world, looking for eleven for quite sometime, and then Owens had to vanish for his own safety. So we were left with basically nothing looking for her, these past three days for everyone had been filled of tension , Lots of tears were shed by all of us in hopes of finding her. and we had nothing until one of her screams sliced through my brain and I could just feel it suddenly, I could feel her. Hopper and the other adults had gone to Murray for some hope but we were left behind just incase.

How light carries on endlessly

When I could finally see the lab, all the air left my lungs, El was there on the floor infront of the lab, she was clutching her lower abdomen, I could feel the tears pricking the corner of my eyes. As I ran towards her, shouting her names but she... it looked like she didn’t have the strength to look up.

When I ran to her side I finally saw why she was holding her stomach so tightly, her ruby red blood seeped through her fingers as she breathed my names, tears filling up her hazel eyes.

Even After Death.

“El, Oh my god, El” droplets streamed down my face as I placed my hand on the wound, but still standing close enough to look at her face. El’s hands fell to either side of her they were covered in her own blood, I didn’t even realize when Will, Max and Dustin came around her too, telling her everything would be alright to hold on a little longer that everything would be fine to which El responded with a sucking of breath, neither did he realize when Lucas ran to find help so he could call an ambulance , I focused on her face, how there was dried blood on her nostrils and how there was also some streaming down her ears, while the veins on her face popped out. Just like she looked when she closed the gate last year but there was fear in her eyes.

Then I asked her if it was hurting her, the wound I mean’t to which she nodded but said that her crying wasn’t because of that she was scared, scared that she was never going to see them again that she was so scared that this was the last time she would see them and she wouldn’t memorize their faces completely all while her breathing come slowly to her lungs.

“No El, No your going to be OK, ok?, Your going to school with Us and we, we’d go to the arcade together and have campaigns and everything, everything we’re going to be ok!” He convinced himself. 

El just looked at him with tired eyes and then at the rest of them slowly until she eventually ended back at mike who hadn’t looked away

With Shortness of Breath you explained.  
the infinite  
How rare and beautiful it is to exist

“I..” She gulped “I like the stars” 

“What?” I responded softly to which she looked up at the sky, the others followed her gaze, but I couldn’t I had to look at her because I really wanted to believe what I said but their was so much blood on my fingers, I took off my jacket and placed it on the wound instead

“The stars.. they…their so pretty and strong and bright but..but eventually they burn out..But that doesn’t stop them from trying..you know, from shining even though they’ll” she shifted a bit “They die out But..Its ok because there are other stars, they never run out”

I have no words it seems that neither do the others they just stare at her but she’s not looking at us, her eyes are still on the scatter of stars visible from far space

“Hopper..” She chuckled lightly but you could see from the way her face scrunches it hurts her “Hopper thinks Sarah is a star after she died,Joyce thinks Bob’s a star too, I wanna a be a star”

I didn’t realize it then, I didn’t realize it until much later that she knew right there, before we got there before she wrote the note before she ran, that she knew she would end up dead in the clutches of Brenner, she knew somehow that he wouldn’t let her be happy that she was his or she was nobody else, or she was dead

her gaze fell back to all of them, the group was all crying

“I love you so much” she gives them a small smile “Thank you so much for everything” she shakes her head overwhelmed 

“El your going to be fine” Dustin’s voice wavers and Max and will hmm in agreement, but I understood, in that time even if I didn’t want to admit it that this was it.

“Nancy said Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful tonight..Nancy said someone said that, Who said that?” she spoke raggedly, the sight of constellations reflecting her tears 

I couldn’t help but ask  
For you to say it all again 

Everyone saw her eyes begin to droop, her skin was so pale her skin looked as white as snow, her honeydoe eyes seemed to lose life little by little

“El, you have to stay awake, can you say it again, say what Nancy said again” I begged softly

She looked at me, trying to memorize my face 

“I love you, Mike” she said tenderly, but she was saying so much in-between those four words.

Im going to miss you mike.

Please don’t forget me mike.

Please try to be happy mike.

Keep them safe mike.

“I love you too El, So much” I told her, I could never love someone more than I loved her

She closed her eyes but started to restate her quote

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful tonight”

I so badly wanted to write her words down, to figure out who said those words, since she wanted to know, I could maybe tell her when she’s recovering.

 

I tried to write it down  
But I could never find a pen.

 

By the time the ambulance showed up, my jacket was soaked with the blood of my girlfriend and the quote she was repeating had died in her throat seconds before causing a small shriek of sobs from all of us, and we were brought to the hospital 

Lucas asked what happened to which they cried and hugged in a embrace, trying to ground one another, after we let go I went to call hopper on the phone number he left if we needed him

“Hop?” I asked

“Wheeler, No success I don’t know what-”

“We found El” he croaks and by hoppers response he knows its not good

"Where? Is she ok?"

“She was shot, we're in the hospital” I say trying to keep the images of a bleeding El out of my mind 

The dial tone rings through my ear and I slam the pay phone down in its spot and join the others in the waiting rooms, Hopper, Steve, Jonathan, Nancy and Mrs.Byers all show up in 30 minutes which is surprising since its a 2 hour drive, after a short integration we spent the whole night there in the waiting room, no one being able to sleep.

at 8:42 Am on October 23rd of 1985, a Doctor comes in yelling "Hopper".All 11 of them stand up, by the look on the doctors face you can tell its not good news

“Im so sorry” she starts but I don’t focus on her not anymore.

El’s dead.

No maybe, no what ifs , no late night calls on the supercom because maybe, JUST maybe, she’s alive somewhere. But her dead body lies in one of these hospital beds and she’s not coming back and I can feel my heart hallow out.

Everyone starts crying, and the doctor says once again she’s sorry and asks if they would like to see her, the others go, but I can’t I don’t want the last image of her in my mind of her being 

Dead.

If I could switch spots with her I would, all of us would. 

I’d give anything to hear  
you say it one more time  
That universe was made  
To be seen by my eyes

The funeral was blur, it was only us there and I latched on to the coffin for dear life, because if she’s in ground really, if she was really buried then its official, she’s gone

But eventually they take my grip away.

She’s gone.

—  
It’s been a few years since then, Im going to collage This fall. we found out that Brenner was forcing El to open a gate with the threat of killing her loved ones, so when she did she shoved him in, and before she could completely close it, he had taken his gun and shot her. She’d made it outside by dragging herself till we found her. The doctors say she was shot in her large intenstint and that it was miracle she lasted as long as she did.

But El in herself was a miracle.

The quote she stated over and over again was by Sarah William for a book called Set In Darkness. I’ve read it a hundred times, old tears stain the pages where her quote lays. Hopper hasn’t been the same but in reality none of us have, The party talks about her like she’s still around until they realize she isn’t and a depressing silent soaks them. Nancy,Jonathan and Steve all have pictures of her in their wallets and Ms.Byers has one framed on her wall.

As for me, I always have a picture of her with me, I sometimes fell a gust of warmth and I think its her with me, I did what she wanted me to, I tried like she told me too, she’d be proud of me for getting into MIT, with scholar ship, I talk to her every day, not really, I visit her grave a bring fresh flowers to put on it, daisies were always her favourite. 

I lay next to and tell her, everything, how everyone is, how we miss her, how we love her, how I love her

after a heart beat I look up at the night sky, filled with dozens of stars and in the center, there's one shining ever so bright 

I can't help but smile lightly

With shortness of breath I'll explain the infinite  
How rare and beautiful it truly is we exist

"Hi El"

**Author's Note:**

> *sobs* leave a comment please?


End file.
